The Namibia Tourism Expo

has just come to an end.


Held at the historic (we mustn’t say tatty) Windhoek showgrounds, it is an impressive testimony to the growth of the tourism industry in the last few years.

There was also an attached motor show, but with the famed laid-back attitude of the Namibian motor industry to customer service, most of the stands were deserted. A friend of mine had an interest in a N$ 900 000 Range Rover, but could not find a salesman to talk to.

But back to tourism. In formerly empty landscapes, luxury lapas, lodges and tented camps have sprung up. (It’s always amusing to think how foreign visitors are prepared to pay twice as much to sleep in a tent as in a proper room). Roads that once stretched deserted to the horizon are now obscured by dust cloud trails from packed 4x4 conveys, rushing equally packed Italianos from one end of the country to the other for their photo-ops.

The country’s unspoilt and undiscovered areas are becoming more and more discovered (maybe not yet spoilt) and the wildlife attractions have been exploited to the hilt. Every self-respecting member of what is irritatingly known as the ‘big 5’, plus nearly every other photogenic animal has been game-driven past, innumerable times.

I wonder if the game animals know what a heavy responsibility rests on their sturdy shoulders. Does that lion know that hundreds of human jobs depend on him? Is each eland aware that he personally is responsible for 0.05% of annual national tourism revenue? Does each zebra realise that it is his task to provide each German visitor with a unique game viewing experience?

I’m not so much into animals – I earnestly support their preservation of course, but to me, once you’ve seen one damara dik-dik, you’ve seen them all. But tourists can never get enough, bless them.

And the luxury lodges. So many of them – the catalogue is a centimetre thick, and soon, like the phone book, you won’t be able to list them all in one volume. You would think that the country must be becoming seriously over-lodged, but apparently not: there is enough business for all of them. Is it necessary to sample at least most of them to gain a complete picture of Namibian hospitality? Actually no, because they are very much alike. The vast majority have tasteful stone-built walls, high thatched ceilings, dark-wood four-posters and a remarkably consistent décor.

Then there is the food. Just as geneticists can show that all the variations in the modern human genome stem from a single source – a common ancestor, not of course to be confused with the creationist’s Adam and Eve, it can be shown that all lodge chefs ultimately derive their training from one single exponent of tourist ur-cuisine. The evidence for this is that, wherever you stay, lodge food is identical with only small variations. For instance, for dinner the starter is always either butternut soup or smoked game salad (sometimes ‘carpaccio’, depending on the tariff level of the lodge). Main course is oryx steak (or ‘roulade’, again, depending on the price range) and the pudding is chocolate mousse or lemon meringue slice.

Not that this affects ordinary Namibians - they would have to take out a second mortgage to stay at such establishments.

I do hope then, that tourists visiting Namibia for four weeks or more don’t develop indigestion. But they love it and keep on coming. Just so long as we keep growing those butternuts, and the lions and elands keep pulling their weight.